My Life with AA (and no, I don’t mean alcoholics anonymous…) – Part 2

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Yesterday set the scene – you now understand WHAT alopecia is, WHY I wear a wig, and hopefully you feel you know a bit more about WHO I am. Today will be a lot about the “HOW.” HOW I get my wigs and HOW this whole thing works.

#1 How: I bit the bullet and shaved my head

If you read yesterday’s post in its entirety, you know my world changed in April of 2004. For those who didn’t, all you need to know is I shaved off what little hair I had left and started rockin’ a wig. And the ONLY reason I felt comfortable enough to do this was thanks to a man named Randy Clark. My mom found him through a mutual friend, we made an appointment, and I never looked back. (Okay, not 100% true – it took months of tears and emotional breakdowns before I trusted him, trusted ANYONE with this part of me). But I finally did let him in, and together we decided this disease wouldn’t define me. He promised he would do everything in his power to make me feel beautiful again. And holy moly, did he. The process looked a little something like this:

1. We had several appointments working me up to what was bound to happen – total hair loss.
2. When it came “that time,” Randy stayed late one night and personally paper-mache(d) a mold of my head. Once the mold hardened, he drew my natural hairline on the outside and prepared to ship it to his manufacturers.
3. He then brought in rings and rings of beautiful hair colors and textures. Together, with my mother’s help, we picked out the color, the texture, the thickness, the highlight color, the length, the texture of the lace base and the amount of curl I wanted (which, by the way, was a good amount since my natural hair was BOARD straight. literally, nothing in the world could curl my real hair).
4. Randy sent my head mold and my specifications to one of his manufacturers, and they set out making my first 3 pieces.
5. When my first piece arrived, I was ready. I couldn’t hide my “baldies” anymore, and I knew I had to trust Randy if I ever wanted to feel “normal” and “pretty” again. So I did. And on that Good Friday morning, I started my journey wearing a wig. We shaved my head, taped the wig and attached it to my head.

I’ll never forget the look on my Dad’s face when I met him for mass later that night… It was completely normal; he didn’t notice anything different about me. And somehow that was everything I needed.

#2 How: Making it stick (pun intended)

The pieces I wear are made of 100% high-quality human hair. Hair is sewn onto a net-like lace base to give the illusion of hair growing out of your scalp. The strands are carefully sewn in the proper direction to ensure they lay flat against your head. This technique really does provide the most natural looking pieces I’ve seen. Having such natural-looking pieces is part of Randy’s business model – he wants you to forget about your hair loss while you’re wearing your piece.

A big thing for me as a teenager was ease of use, meaning how much would wearing this piece really affect my normal activities. With the use of strong adhesive tapes, I’m able to shower, swim, sleep, exercise, jazzercise, “whip my hair back and forth”, etc. in my piece. I wash my hair just like everyone else every (other) night, I blow it dry, curl it, straighten it, over-process it, torture it. But eventually the tape does break down (for me, after about 5-6 days). Then I’ll take my piece off, remove the adhesive, wash it, re-tape it, put it back on, and start over again. Is it annoying to do this every week? Yes, obviously. Wouldn’t you hate adding an extra hour or so to your shower routine? I think so. But I do it for love – my love of a silky mane.

Some wig-wearers use liquid glue or other intense bonding materials to attach their pieces and ensure long-wear. But not me, ohhhh no. Of course not. Life wouldn’t be fun if it were easy, right? Turns out that not only am I a control freak with a buttery-smooth scalp, but I also have the MOST sensitive skin. Meaning my skin hates, and I mean HATES, every single long-wear adhesive out there. First, we tried extra-strong tape. That made my scalp raw, so we switched to a different tape. That tape only lasted 2-3 days, and the maintenance alone was exhausting. After around 4-5 different trial tapes, we landed on the only kind my scalp can (moderately) tolerate. I still have raw spots on the perimeter of my scalp, but I push through it. I can only liken it to the awful, manipulative mantra of pro-ana websites, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Well to me, “Nothing hurts as bad as being teased feels.” You win some, you lose some.

*As we hit the halfway mark of the “My Life with AA” saga, I want to thank everyone for sticking with me as I lay it all out there. Thank you for reading, for engaging with me, for being patient as it all unfolds. I wish more people told their AA stories… so I promise that until more baldies find their voices, I’ll try to speak loud enough for everyone to hear.*

Cheers to that!